Being a Woman

Happy Wednesday, Faithers,

March has been moving through! It has honestly been jam-packed for me. I broke down Social Work and its meaning in the last two blogs. Make sure you check out the radio show too! The episodes on the HealingSheGotFaith Show have been deep too.

But it is Women's Month! So, I want to come and discuss being a woman and what that looks like. One of the things I want to discuss is being a woman, being a boss, going through grief, and struggling with PMS and PMDD.

First of all, I love being a woman. I am a woman who has been living with grief and working through life with grief. Then in most recent years, there has been more research on the menstrual cycle and PMS and PMDD. I hold so much power, and as I continue through my healing journey, I learn every day to embrace the actual power that I have.

So, HealingSheGotFaith is all about grief, and it is literally what we discuss daily. When you're a woman who is a boss and making everything happen; there is an unspoken expectation; that you have to hold it together. You have to control your emotions and make it happen no matter what you're going through. When you're grieving, no one around you knows how to handle it. We are not in a society that teaches us or embraces grief. Unfortunately, many of us never grieve nor ever learn how to grieve everything we have lost throughout our lives.

Now, let's add our menstrual cycle on top of all that. Our body naturally does the one thing that we are not taught how to control or understand. Women have been called "crazy, dramatic, emotional, worthless, lazy," and so much more. The cramps women feel can be as bad as someone having a heart attack. The pain is excruciating. Now, let's add PMS (Premenstrual syndrome). PMS is the time before a woman entirely comes on to her cycle. Some of the symptoms include chronic fatigue, mood swings, bloating, irritability and depression, just to name a few. I get depression, bloating, chronic fatigue, and I can not stop crying. But in recent years, there have been studies providing more information for PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder). PMDD is very similar to PMS, but data shows that it is more severe. There is extreme anxiety attached to PMDD.

I was one of those ladies who got her menstrual cycle at 10. I was pretty young compared to the other ladies in my family. Most people I knew and grew up with were not getting their cycle until they were the ages of 14-16. I was one when it was that time of the month, everyone knew because my moods were extreme. I was not fun to be around. It was miserable for everyone around, including myself. I went through headaches, sleeping all day, constant crying, isolation, and I was angry. I had no control over my body during that time.

I tried multiple techniques to overcome my PMS issues as I got older. I could get my flow down during my actual cycle, but honestly, that was only half the problem. I changed how I ate and the products I used. But this PMS thing I could not tackle. The mood swings, the crying, the emotions, the fatigue, the irritability, and the thoughts. As I was sitting in my room in New York one day, I saw a graphic on Instagram that compared PMS and PMDD. I screenshot the graphic, sent it to my sister, and asked her, "do you think this is my problem?" Of course, she isn't a medical professional, so she couldn't verify it, but she did say, "it could be. It sounds familiar." I'll be honest, I never went to the doctor and spoke to my doctor. One of my reasons was that I discovered this during the pandemic, living in New York. The other thing was that I needed a doctor I trusted. My relationship with medical professionals is shot. I have to do a lot of research to find someone I trust with my body. I currently found one, so I've decided to take the step to talk to her and have a conversation about my body. As I was writing, I realized all the times I had an emotional breakdown in a professional setting during my PMS time. I remember getting into it with other people because I could not stop crying. I remember having to go to the bathroom to run away so that I could cry. I read a thread on Instagram about how women feel during their PMS and the "obnoxious" stuff we have done due to no control over our bodies. With all of this being said, women endure a lot; daily. Please give yourself grace. Fellas, please educate yourself on the women's body, especially for the sake of the lovely ladies in your life! Please.

Always remember to love you the way you love the world!

-LeLe

Your self-love advocate