Counting the small victories
Hey Faithers! Happy Wednesday. April is finally here! April is such a near and dear part of my heart. April is the month when the weather starts to pull my attention and allows me to be grounded in the current moment. April is also where I lost my father when I was fifteen years old. A month that I used to dread, but now I have turned into a month full of small victories. Small victories. I used to be the type who went straight for the big wins. I would say it, and the impulse would go. I would have called myself a "go-getter." That was how I grew up; "Go hard or go home." But going hard honestly got me nowhere. I was tired, drained, and burnt out, and honestly, I did not see progress. I saw a bunch of work, but I did not see the desired results. I was frustrated with life, but more importantly, I was frustrated with myself. Hey, guess what? I feel like that today. There have been projects such as publishing my book bundle, recording the audio version, getting the e-version, creating a radio talk show platform, buying and opening my building, and getting my home together that have all been on my to-do list. There have been recent days where I laid in bed all day because I am frustrated with the results of all the work I am putting in. It is very easy to feel very small globally, especially with social media. I am seeing so many people with success, and it has me questioning my worth and what I am doing. I have partnered with many people, and still, I feel like it is not enough. Currently, I have a contractor working on my building, and he has literally flipped one side, and the other day I just came and embraced it. The building has come a long way. Even though I was not at to finish line, the route was adventurest, and I just had to stand in the middle of it and smile. The walls are a beautiful enchanted green. The green reminds me of the wealth, strength, and journey I have taken and where I have come from. The floors remind me to thank my feet for always holding me up. The dang building didn't even have floors at one point, and no one would ever know!
I am going out to Detroit to meet with my team at Total Entertainment Radio. Y'all, I got a team at a Radio Station. That's a victory! So, let me say this, I am nowhere I want to be. And days have been heavy. Depression and imposter syndrome have been eating me alive, but when I take the time to reflect and realize that I have small victories. So, today I am here, to be honest, and say I have been hurting, but I had to take a moment to step back and realize the small victories. Baby steps are still steps. Small victories are still victories. I am proud of myself. I am proud of the small victories. I hope that if you feel what I wrote today, you take the time to understand where you're at and truly show yourself some grace.
I know the world looks like there are no rainy days, but there are! Listen to your body and listen to yourself. Always remember to love you the way you love the world.
LeLe
Your self-love advocate.
