Keep Fighting; you deserve it

Hey Faithers,

Happy Wednesday! I hope June has been nothing but amazing for you! I wanted to meet you today and discuss a conversation with my therapist last month. Recently, my therapist and I have been speaking on boundaries. Boundaries are something I have not been good at all for my whole life. I did not grow up in a household where people set boundaries and stood by them. At the age of thirty, I am learning how important it is to set boundaries and stay within them.

One of these days, we talked, and I spoke about how most people don't know much about what I have been going through. People ask, but I say just enough to make people think they know, but they have no clue. Most people ask me about my dating life, healing, and business. Dating and business, I am so shy about discussing. I have to be very protective over what I say. MY therapist brought to my attention that in the industry I am in, we are taught to hold secrets. We are setting safe places for people to speak most of the time freely. We always have secrets. My therapist said, "and with that being said, we tend to hold on to our secrets. We are really good at holding our secrets."

Her saying this hit me like a ton of bricks because I always thought, "why do I keep a secret about myself so much? I know people genuinely try to look out for me and want to know what I am doing, but I do not like talking about myself." I believe this is why I have my blog and Radio Talk Show (Check it out here.) because I can speak about myself and how I am doing. I have always been the type who has allowed others to speak before me. When speaking, I am almost always cut off, people do not listen for real, and I frequently feel overlooked. I believe that eventually, as I got older, I learned my place in people's life. I became quiet.

I started doing things by myself. I put myself in a position where I could speak freely, and even if no one was listening, I could still say it on my platforms. I once had a friend share with me about her business. This was the basis of our friendship. She was in business longer than I. She was speaking and then she asked me. At the time, I was having a real hard time with my building. I got tired of talking about it, so I stopped. But because of the trouble, I stepped back from many things I was doing. She kept hitting me up and asking me what I was doing, that she missed me, and when I was returning to life. To her, it seemed like I wasn't doing anything; to me, I was drowning. I had applied for a job, and so did she. She got the job she applied for, but I did not. She asked me why and said, "I don't know; I don't care. I've been told no so many times in my life. Life goes on." She replied, "It does, but what are we about to do? I keep asking you!"

When she said that, I replied to her, "I keep doing what I do best and making it happen. I am working. I'm just not vocal about it. I'm in my zone." I do not believe she liked this answer because she just responded with "ok." But honestly speaking, this is a safe place. I get so tired of explaining myself and people giving advice I never asked for. I knew her response would come in some direction I did not want. Most of the time, I want to speak. I know who to ask when I need help. Sometimes, I have my vision, and I know my path. But also, I shouldn't feel obligated to have to explain everything. I believe she meant good, but I did not feel compelled to explain my situation. I was tired. I have always tried to please other people, keep up with them and compare myself. I no longer wanted to do that. When I bought my first building with my siblings, this was my mindset. I am going to make it happen my way! I am on this journey of doing what Lisa wants to do because Lisa wants to do it. Once I realized boundaries and started implementing them, I became more comfortable with my decisions. I say this because I believe we all need to keep fighting. After all, we deserve it. Our inner child deserves the fight. Even we when are uncomfortable when we play the comparison game. Keep fighting for yourself!

Faithers, you deserve it! I love you, but I want you to love you the way you love the world!

LeLe,

Your self-love advocate!