One of the worst days ever
Hey Faithers, Happy Wednesday! Today is a day of reflection. This is one of those days in the year that I have to process and get through. Four years ago, I got a phone call that would change my life. My mom and brother were in a car accident that would take my mom's life six days later. Honestly, I don't remember that period or how I got through it. But I do know I changed forever. That day my soul left my body. The person I once was also suffered that day. The Lisa that everyone once loved and adored no longer existed. My heart was shattered, my soul left my body, and the only available thing was my physical body. Throughout that week, I had to worry about my brother and mom. Survival mode was the only thing I knew. To this day, I struggle with Grief Brain and remembering the time, places, and people. I can not explain how I got through that time of my life. What I can say is that I developed a new relationship with my mom since her body was no longer on Earth, I got closer to my brother in support of him, my sister held the family together, and I had to step back from life and figure out what I was going to do. There were days when all I could do was be. This day starts the day of my grieving season. Every year I have to be creative in caring for myself and what I need. The hardest part about grief is that people get to move on, while every year, there is a battle on what the mind, body, and soul need. I wish I had the formula to give you. I wish I were someone who had it all together and figured it out. But my truth is, every day and every year is a new learning experience. Somedays, I am fine; others, I have to let go. Life is complicated. Grief is hard. My heart hurts—my face smiles. Either way, I am showing up to heal every single day. Grief tried to kill me and turned around and made grief my bitch. While that will go over some people's heads, this is the journey that I've been walking. I hope that you, the reader, are working on yourself and loving yourself the way you love the world. I love you!
LeLe,
Your self-love advocate
